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When Net-Ships Turn into Real Friendships: Bonding and Connecting via Cyberspace~ Javagirl ~ Electronic postcards brighten up your screen, your instant messenger flashes with quirky, funny URLs, and dozens of forwards and e-mails from friends across the world nestle snugly in your in-box. No, they aren't from Mom or Dad or Uncle Harry and Aunt Louise in Minnesota, but from your cyber pals who have become dear friends along your cyber journey. Along my Internet quest (What kind of quest? Hmmm, I don't really know but it's been a fun ride), I have cyberally connected with some of the most wonderful, caring, and intelligent people. The closeness that I share with my online friends on this electronic medium of communication is amazing yet mind-boggling. We pour our hearts, souls, and life out through chats and e-mails. Some of my very close friendships on the 'Net have progressed into "snail" mail and telephone calls. This is the moment when Net-ship turns into friendship. Based on my last article, you would think I am against the concept of forming any kind of relationships on the 'Net. On the contrary, I am a firm believer in the power of the 'Net and how it can draw people, who would never meet in a million years, together. My friendships run the gamut: From my buddy in New Jersey who has become almost like a sister to me. Our lives and ages are completely opposite: she is married with kids and lives on the East Coast, but we have formed a close bond that has transformed into a very special friendship. A rare friendship that I know will last forever, no matter where we are or what we are doing with our lives. Also, who says that you can't be friends with married men and not take it to the "c-sex" (cybersex that is) level? I have been friends a man from South Dakota for over two years now. He is happily married with a daughter, and there is a huge age difference between us, but he is one of the coolest, funniest, most intelligent persons I have met on the 'Net. His friendship has been the most refreshing, devoid of any sexual innuendoes or come-on's. Our 'Net-ship was easy to turn into a friendship because we never took it beyond a "friends-only" level. Our friendship has been the best kind! I also have another good male 'Net friend who I've been chatting with for over two years as well. He is married, closer to my age, and lives in upstate New York. I often times think he could be my twin, if I had a male twin. Our personalities, funky sense of humor and just plain wackiness are so similar that it's almost scary (ha!) The bond and connection we share is unbelievable and when we don't talk on the phone in awhile I am sad and miss him. He has been the most honest and straight forward with me, out of all the men I've encountered on the 'Net, and the Javagirl can honestly say that she trusts this 'Net guy. I have always appreciated his honesty about his "status" and that scores big points with the Javagirl. I've met some incredible people on the World Wide Web and believe it or not, they are sane, reasonable, rational, and cool human beings: from Cape Breton (near Nova Scotia, Canada) to the Midwest to the East Coast to Australia to Europe. The 'Net has not only electronically connected me to these people, but has also connected them to my heart, mind and soul -- and that is where the magic lies -- within this entity called cyberspace. Now, I know what you're thinking: "doesn't this Javagirl chick have any real time friends? She keeps blathering about 'Net friendships. Get a life, Javagirl!" Ah, my cyber readers, I have plenty-o-RT (real time) friends and like my 'Net friends, they are scattered like the wind from southern California to Vancouver, BC Canada (and take a guess how we stay in touch? That's right--the Javagirl's favorite form of communication -- e-mail!) Like my real time friends, my 'Net-ships that turned into friendships are true and real. Despite my bad experiences with some 'Net dudes and their heinous lies and dramas, I am lucky to have encountered such beautiful and amazing people who would have never touched my real time life otherwise. French writer Simone de Beauvoir wrote, "One's life has value as long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, and compassion." Remember that quote as you journey, clicking and clacking away on your PC's. There are amazing people just a few keystrokes away and if you take a chance, your 'Net-ship may just turn into a friendship that will last a lifetime. Note: As of my publication date, I was dissed and dismissed by the "wonderful and amazing" man I had met from the online matchmaking service (I mentioned him in my previous article). I must share the direct quote that was left on my answering machine this evening: "Due to changes in my business and personal life, I don't think we are going to work out together." This is coming from a man who thought I was the "salt of the earth" and who even bought me the coolest book. The Javagirl hit ground zero with Italian guy, but I still hold steadfast to the old adage that there is "someone out there for me." I don't know if I'm going to find Mr. Wonderful on the Net and I think I'm going to lay low on the cyber matchmaking for now. Although, there are some cute guys at my new job -- stay tuned! © 1999 by Javagirl. All rights reserved. |
