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Writing, And Getting an Answer~ Cerissa ~ This is directed towards the guys, since it doesn't seem like women have any problems getting answers, either to ads or to their responses to ads. Spelling counts. This is the first time she's ever heard from you. What kind of impression do you think a reply that reads "Im inretestd in yor ad. tel me moor," is going to make? (Hint: I wouldn't bother with it!) Give her something to respond to. Out of basic courtesy, I've always tried to answer every response that any of my ads got, even if only to say "thanks, but no thanks." Some are easier to answer than others, though. A letter that asks a few questions gives something concrete to answer. And questions that are more imaginative than "what's your bust size," are much more interesting than the typical sort. Of course, even with my "answer all" policy, I felt justified in ignoring one sentence responses and those that asked me to phone rather than write. "Nobody answers anyway, I'm not going to waste time writing a longer letter!" From what I've heard from guys who I know can write a good letter, this seems to be a valid complaint. How about a semi-form letter? This is what I did to answer most of those responses that I got. You have a basic letter on file, or just in mind, and paste in names, places, and other appropriate personalized things. Cuts the writing time way down, and still turns out something worth replying to. (Hint: You don't have to confess that you do this, and for God's sake, don't tell anyone who told you to do it!) "But I don't know what to say!!" Women don't mind trivial chatter. In fact, it seems we have a much higher tolerance for it than men. So don't feel you have to stick to the important (and somewhat dry) stuff. Feel free to tell her what you did last night, the funny thing your cat did last night, or the amusing incident that happened at the office. But. . . Don't try to sound pathetic in order to get her sympathy. At least not in a first letter. She really doesn't need to know how badly your ex-wife screwed you over, or that your boss treats you like dog shit, or that every woman you ever knew abused you. Telling her all of these things just makes your letter scream out "loser here, come and get your loser!" Don't boast in order to impress. Conversely, filling a letter with things intended solely to impress will probably make the opposite impression from the one you intended. If you have a fantastic job, great! Mention the job title or chat about some of the interesting things you do at work. There's absolutely no need to tell her your salary or the sort of car you drive. And if you tell her about your 12" penis, she's probably not going to believe you, anyway. Lay back a bit. Though I don't know you from Adam, gentle reader, I seriously doubt that you would walk up to a woman and, by way of introduction, ask her if she shaves her genital area. Most self respecting women don't appreciate this sort of thing by way of email introduction, either. Physical description's a bit trickier, since you don't have the visual to go by. If she doesn't volunteer vital stats or a snapshot, though, I'd at least wait until a few letters have passed to demand them. Pay attention to limitations. If an ad states right up front that a woman is in Pennsylvania and is only interested in men within a fifty-mile radius, and you live in Oregon, do you really expect her to answer you? She might relax on these things a little, like going out with someone who is 5'11" instead of the 6' she said she required, but let's be reasonable. The logistics of ads. Speaking as a woman who's posted the things, I can say that the first few days after an ad goes up are email hell. There are so many responses you can't even keep them all straight! Within a week or two, you get them pared down to a few who are really interesting. And if you're lucky, within a month you're down to one and not looking anymore. So what does this mean to you, the guy responding? If you answer right away, the letter better be darned good, or it'll get lost in the shuffle. If you wait a month after the ad is posted, chances are the response you'll get will say thanks, but she's found someone. The best timing is a little over a week after the ad first went up. "The bitch didn't answer." So, you've written a 5 paragraph letter that your 11th grade English teacher would be proud of. It's full of interesting tidbits and leading questions. And no answer ever comes. Well, how long has it been? Remember, she is probably getting lots and lots of responses, and answering them takes time! If she just hasn't gotten to it yet, and you send an abusive note, she might answer, but she'll never go out with you! In a few days, you might want to resend the original letter, with a polite note that you were afraid it got lost. And if she still doesn't answer, forget it! You didn't really need to write to someone that rude, did you? And it was a form letter anyway, so who cares? Best of luck, and happy writing! |
