| Cerissa's Rules
of Safe Cybersex |
|
"Well, cybersex itself is safe by
definition . . . you don’t even need a keyboard condom. Unfortunately, cybersex can
also be boring. Sooner or later, if you play this game, you are going to actually want to
meet someone you've been writing to." |
| Cyber-Cheating:
Real or Virtual? |
|
"Online, just as in person, friends
of the opposite sex are one thing - lovers are quite another. A discussion of how to cook
bagels does not have to turn into a description of how much you would like to lick the
cream cheese off of . . ." |
| Do Women Want Nice Guys? |
|
"I dated a nice guy once. I know he
was a nice guy because he told me so himself. Many times." |
| How to Get Rid of
a Woman (without really trying) |
|
"Here, in no particular order, are
25 ways to make your lover leave you." |
| Internet Dating
Trilogy |
|
1) Why Meet on the Internet?
2) Why Not Meet on the Internet?
3) Where Else Are You Going to Meet Somebody?
"I met someone this way. He left a rose on the
windshield of my car every day until I finally broke down and called the number that was
on an accompanying note." |
| A
P.I.E.C.E. of Advice for Avoiding Disappointment |
|
"Many chat room denizens are only
there for an evening’s entertainment, and don’t expect to hear from each other
again, so lies come very easily. Starts with the name and clothing, then often moves on to
height, weight, even marital status. You’re as likely to find the Virgin Mary in The
Swingin’ Singles Lounge as you are to find Ms. Right in a chat room." |
| Reactions of the
Uninitiated |
|
"Oh, people are fascinated with the
process. But, other than the few who think that it is a pretty cool notion and want to try
it, their fascination is fueled by the same motive that makes people turn and stare at
dead animals by the side of the road." |
| Romance and
Geography 101 |
|
"Little can match the combination of
excitement and terror as waiting for a plane to take off on the way to an initial
long-distance date. Except, perhaps, for jumping out of the plane halfway there." |
| Sizing Someone Up |
|
"I would have to estimate that
better than 90% of the women I met on-line either had never stepped onto a scale, or
didn't know the definition of the word pounds." |
| What's Your (date) Type? |
|
"It starts when he asks her what she
is wearing. My standard reply, back in the day, used to be, "What would you like me
to be wearing?" That way, I was able to imply a willingness to play along while
satisfying my conscience, which dictates "Though shall not claim to a satin merry
widow while wearing torn sweats." |
| Writing, and
Getting an Answer |
|
"And if you tell her about your
12" penis, she’s probably not going to believe you, anyway." |
